Not so Melosa!

Alternate titles for this post:

Hit-Girl ("Kick-Ass" movie reference)

I hit a girl and I liked it (Katy Perry reference)

So, yeah, Evey punched a girl at daycare last Thursday. She used a toy pear, so I guess technically it was assault with a toy.

She hit poor little Isabella (not an Isabella previously mentioned on the blog). Evey brought this toy pear with her from home, and apparently she was not too interested in sharing it with others. After Isabella demanded the toy pear one more time, Evey gave it to her – on the cheek.

How it happened is my speculation, mind you. This is just my mental recreation of the crime, based on the eyewitness report of Elvira, our daycare provider. (It is entirely possible that Isabella made an unprovoked attack on Evey, and Evey was just acting in self-defense... we'll never know.)

I found out from Elvira that Evey hit Isabella at 4:55 on Thursday. Thursday was a rough day… the magazine was due Friday, so work was pretty stressful. My Mom got lost on the way to Lawrence, so I was worried about her (moreso than usual). And it’s 104 degrees outside and now I’m told Evey hit a girl.

As I walked out of Elvira’s I just wanted to let out a primal scream, and I would have except I know that would have scared the shit out of Evey, and I didn’t want to have to change her panties after all the other crap I had already dealt with this day. So I just kind of grunted under my breath as I marched Evey to the Camaro.

I put her in the backseat as I typically do, then quickly stomped around the car into the driver’s seat. I started the Camaro quickly – I don’t like Evey to sit in the car for longer than a few seconds without AC on when it’s that hot out. But then I put it into gear and started to take off, my mind racing 100 mph. Evey said, “Uh, Dad?” and I turned around to snap at her, thinking she misunderstood my mood at the time and that I wasn’t really feeling like chit-chatting at the moment.

But then I looked at her and she pointed at her seat belt… in my haste I forgot to turn around and buckle her in. “Thank you,” I said.

We got home and told Mom what we did. A lot of crying and a timeout ensued. I told Evey she was lucky I found out first at Elvira’s because if I had found out second at home, she would have gotten spanked. If she does it again, she’s getting spanked, and no more toys from home can go to Elvira’s, especially toy fruit.

At dinner that night Evey was being a really good eater, trying to get back on our good side. She took a big bite and I said, “Wow, Evey, I’m impressed.” She finished and said, “Yeah, but you weren’t impressed when I hit Isabella.” I chuckled and told her that indeed, I was unimpressed when she hit Isabella.

The next day she was back to good behavior. Elvira said she was good to everyone, no assaults took place.

Me and Evey got to the car and Evey was beaming. “Guess what, Dad?” she asked. “I didn’t hit anyone today!!!”

I told her that this really wasn’t anything to be proud of. Everyday should be a no-hitting day.

I think she’s learned. I think just about every kid hits another kid at some point.

Hopefully, the next time she does it, it’s just, and she makes it count!