To Sears and back

So, a few weeks ago we were in Texas. The midway point of the trip is Dallas, so we get a hotel room to spend the night there going and coming.

On the way down, our hotel room in Dallas was next to this giant mall. Nice place. They had an ice skating rink on the lower level, lots of nice restaurants and for Adro, some make-up brand had its own store, which was a big deal to her.

For Evey, they had this giant play area. It did look like fun, I'll admit it. She played her heart out on it and after that night, everyday she wanted to go back to what she called "the player."

So then we're in Mission, Texas, for a few days. Deep south Texas. HOT.

We took an afternoon at another mall. This mall wasn't as fancy, as you might expect. First of all, I'm sure it'd be impossible to keep an ice skating rink anywhere in the Rio Grande Valley, because the average temperature there is 2 million degrees.

There was also no "player" for Evey. But there had to be something, right?

I asked the information desk what they had for kids. "Uhm... there's the train... if it's open..."



So me and Evey walked over to JC Penney's to find the train. The train was apparently closed because it was covered up under 10 large sheets. Evey was dejected. We started to walk away.

That's when a man who looked like Mario from Super Mario Bros. walked by me. It occurred to me that he was dressed like a train conductor. I watched him, and, yep, no one -- even in the Valley -- dresses like that for the hell of it. He was the train conductor.

Wanting to make Evey happy, I approached the train conductor and asked him when he'd be open for business. The train conductor shot me a confused look back... he didn't speak English.

"Uhm, cuando... abierto... train?" (broken Spanish -- when open train?)
"Diez minutos." (perfect Spanish -- 10 minutes.)
"Boletos aqui?" (broken Spanish -- tickets here? I wanted to know if I had to buy the tickets from him, or go somewhere else)
"Si, si! dsfnfknlka lskdj ljlsdjkl; lkj sadljd SEARS kljlsj ljsdlk sd jsdaljflasd k." (perfect Spanish -- Yes, yes! Then a bunch of words I don't understand with a SEARS thrown in the middle.)

So me and Evey start heading for Sears to buy our train tickets.

I don't know where Sears is, so we just start walking. I got halfway across this mall when I finally told myself that I must have misunderstood El Conductor. I found a map and saw that Sears was the polar opposite of where the train was.

Frustrated, me and Evey walk back. I'm pissed because 1) I'm in a mall and 2) I'm trying to ride a frickin train for the sake of entertaining Evey and it's much more effort that it could possibly be worth and 3) I really wish this place just had a player. I can read at the player. There's nothing for men at the mall, but at the player I can read the book I've brought with me. Everyone is happy at the player.



I finally get back and the conductor is standing there next to a sign that says "Train Rides! $5." The sign wasn't there 10 minutes ago because he hadn't set it up. So I pull a $10 out of my pocket, hand it to the guy. This was a cash operation, I should have known that we wouldn't need no stinking tickets. Sheesh.

Evey chose the azul (blue) car and we hopped in.

The tour? It went to SEARS and BACK -- that's what the guy was trying to tell me. And it lasted all of 5 minutes. For $10. The player in Dallas? That was free.

So the expression on my face in that second photo? That's why I have that expression.