BAD SANTA: The Outtakes

You'll recognize the first shot as our Christmas card... the rest are the shots I took of Evey while she visited Santa, including the last photo, which says, "We'll meet again next year, you red-suited freak!"

Christmas lights!

On a cold early December day, me and Lervik went out there and took on the house, armed with only Christmas lights, two hammers, a ladder and nails... and we didn't stop until it looked like THIS.



Special thanks to T-Love for helping me get this thing done! I was thrilled with the way the house looked this year (my first time putting up lights)!

Movies, the tabletop

The Christmas break is over? Say it ain't so!

What did I do with the time off? A whole lot of little things, but I'm excited to report that I got in some movie watching time!

On Friday I took Adro to see "Bedtime Story" with Adam Sandler... this was on the recommendation of Sean Lipford, he said it was "surprisingly hilarious." Well, I was sick, so I was in the mood for a comedy, something to make me feel better. There were some funny moments in the movie, but really, we needed an 8-year-old to be with us to justify our presence at that film. Still a good time with the Missus, though.

Saturday afternoon I went to see "The Day the Earth Stood Still" with Sean at the Legends. Pretty darn good, actually! I went in with low expectations, having seen it was getting poor reviews. But the story was actually pretty tight. The acting was just OK (Will Smith's kid bugs me) and the sfx were just OK... almost seemed like they had a small budget at times... but it was still a solid movie. The ending was a little abrupt, and had it been just a little bit different, I'd be saying the movie was excellent. Instead, it gets a solid "good" from me.

I'm supposed to be watching "Charlie Wilson's War" with Adro right now, but I'm sure she's asleep with Evey by now.



Photos that accompany this post are of my big Christmas gift to Adro and me. It's a glass tabletop for the island we have in our kitchen. Wanting to make it cooler than just a big piece of glass, I had a logo printed on the glass. Looks pretty cool, eh? I think Adro liked it, she seemed pretty pleased. Special thanks to Brad for designing the logo for me, to Copy J for getting the tech specs figured out for me, and to Julie for the printing on the glass. (Richie, you'll be happy to know that I bought this piece of glass from Kennedy Glass... and now I'm giving them a free plug on my blog. Hey, everyone! Kennedy Glass takes good care of people! I will not be writing them any angry letters!)

Martha Stewart tip of the day: If you're a music fan like me, bring a new CD with you to the kitchen when you have to clean the place up. One, it gives you something to do besides the drudgery of cleaning the kitchen... you're checking out new music at the same time as you're cleaning. Two, when you're done cleaning the kitchen, check out the track you're on. I was on track six of The Ting Tings' "We Started Nothing" CD. That translates to 17 minutes of actual time. Not a bad investment -- 17 minutes of my life for a clean kitchen. Makes the chore seem less bothersome when you can measure it like that.

Merry Christmas!

Papa John's apologizes, buys us pizza

Cell phone rang. Looks like a GCSAA cell phone.

"This is Seth."

"Hi Seth, this is Ivan from Papa John's."

Hello!

OK, so here's what happened. A long time ago, I mailed out those two letters. Cork and Barrel got right back to me. Papa John's? The letter got returned to me -- return to sender, undeliverable.

Huh?

I checked the address. I used the address on the receipt, seemed simple enough. But the address was for the old Louisiana St. location.

It took me three weeks to take the time to re-send the letter. Finally, I got it back in the mail a few days ago, this time with the correct address.

Ivan is the manager of Papa John's. He apologized for the treatment I received there, and told me that I definitely should not have had to wait almost 30 minutes for my pizza. He told me walk-ins take priority, and their policy is to try to get that person worked in right away and out the door with pie in hand within 10, 15 minutes. He said he had read my letter at his most recent staff meeting for training purposes. He also told me that he looked back to see the day and time I arrived at Papa John's. On that day, the Holidome had a cook quit, and they were supposed to have some sort of pizza buffet... so they called Papa John's and placed an order for 100 pizzas.

"Usually, we have a week's head's-up on an order like that, but that was a case where we had no forewarning, so our crew was trying to handle the order," Ivan told me. "Still, that's no excuse. Your order should have been worked in. What I bet happened was, your pizza got boxed in with the Holidome's order."

Ivan said he was happy to repeat the order I had originally made and to comp both the pizza and the cheese sticks, if we were willing to give them a try again.

So I went in tonight to pick up our dinner. Ivan was waiting for me and again apologized. "Hey, things happen," I told him. "Yeah, but we try to minimize those things," he said.

Good pizza tonight. I'm happy that both businesses called me and worked with me to remedy the problems I had with them.

Now, to write that letter to Lew Perkins...

133-120

And so I win. It was rather anti-climactic.

I don't care. I won.

Man... hard to believe. I didn't start talking trash to Jeff until there was about 15 seconds left in regulation. But that's OK.

And yes, my parting shot? It went like this:

AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE!!!!!

126-120

I just checked the site again... Jeff has already gained TWO points while there are no games being played.

I hate stattracker.

126-118

The girls are both asleep.

I went upstairs to help get Evey to bed... she was fighting it. I knew better, but I couldn't help it... I turned on the TV JUST IN TIME to see the replay of Williams' FOURTH touchdown.

But guess what? You know where Williams went to college? Memphis. You know where I went? KU, baby!!!

OK...

So, the score usually fluctuates by a couple points overnight (stat corrections and overall screwing with my head). Hopefully I can hang on to my 8-point lead overnight. And then, tomorrow, we'll see how it goes, Donald Driver vs. Devin Hester for the championship.

To quote Jeffy, "I got nerves." I can deiniftely see Hester running one back, and who knows if he can catch a TD or FOUR... Driver, meanwhile... he's been solid the last few weeks, but I can't tell you that I feel like he's going to have some outstanding night. But he's done well on MNF before...

I just counted, this will be my 27th post tonight. So I better close it with an Evey photo.

I won't be around the computer tomorrow, I'll probably be at Wayne & Larry's watching the MNF game with the guys (that is, after all, where I saw my team squeak out a close one last Monday). If you're curious to see how this turns out tomorrow night, follow me on on www.twitter.com -- my username is SethAJones.

Otherwise, I'll post here on Tuesday sometime. Once the hangover -- from too much celebrating, or too much self-pity -- subsides.

125-108

KEVIN BOSS with the TOUCHDOWN!!!

Apparently good things happen while the game is off.... so the TV is off now. Hopefully I don't need to leave the house again because it's COOOLD OUTSIDE. Bank sign read 5 degrees.

Let's go MARIO C!!!!

118-108

My team is doing better without me watching, so I'm shutting off the TV and leaving the house to run some late-night errands...

118-107

Halftime.

Williams had 40 rushing yards...

And THREE TDs.

I'm outside, looking for Horsey, if you need me.

118-107

Good news, bad news.

BAD NEWS: They challenged the Steve Smith TD. It didn't look like a TD in real time, but I was hopeful.

So they challenge the TD, and win. Williams gets another goal-line carry, another TD. He's got THREE TDs in the first half for 22 fantasy points! And the half isn't over yet as I type this!!!

GOOD NEWS: While I watched Williams' third TD, I still got back to Channel 6 in time to see the TODD REESING TO KERRY MEIER GAME WINNER OVER MIZZOU!!! Take THAT, Mizzou!!! HAHAHAHAHHA!!!!

GOOD NEWS # 2: My TE, Kevin Boss, did get one catch for 15 yards, so I got a point out him. So he did suit up for the game... he did not shoot himself in the leg prior to kick-off, apparently...

Whew.

At this rate, Boss will have two fantasy points and Williams will have 44. Oh, I'm feeling GREAT.

(As I typed this, Boss missed a reception. UGH!!!)

117-100!!!

Steve Smith!! Thank YOU!!! I'll draft you next--

CHALLENGE?!?!

117-100

Good news, though: The KU/Mizzou game is being replayed on Channel 6. This game will never get old!

117-100

DeAngelo Williams scores a freakin TD every time he touches the ball.

C'MON, NYG D! Or, at least, Steve Smith, YOU take it to the end zone!

117-85

I got through Adrian Peterson's game... I had the courage to watch the second half. He was held to 6 points! Nicely done, Atlanta D!

Tonight, I've got Kevin Boss (TE, NYG) going, while Jeffy has DeAngelo Williams (RB, Car) going tonight. Tomorrow, I've got Donald Driver going against his Devin Hester.

C'mon, Giants D... let's lockdown Williams and the Carolina running game!

I've finally started drinking on the evening. But I am NOT celebrating...

105-81

Why did I tell my Dad that my kicker (Akers) is always good for about 10 points?!? It's third quarter and he still hasn't gotten a single point!

(btw, Akers won the game for me last week, so if he has a subpar game this week, that's OK... he got the game ball last week.)

100-79

Peterson just fumbled!!!

LOUD NOISES!!!

There could be other titles besides the score, but my supersition makes me not change anything up right now... I very well could be wearing the exact same clothes all day tomorrow through the Monday Night Football game to keep my karma intact!

First one to 100...?

99-79

I had to restart my computer, and now Yahoo!'s StatTracker won't load... it just5 popped up and told me that everyone on our respective teams are on BYE, and the score is 99-79!

I'm OK with that. Let's end the game RIGHT NOW.

StatTracker... why did I pay $9.99 for you?!?

97-80

Josh Wilson just got an INT! That's my boy!!!

A. Peterson has 2 fantasy points at the end of the 1st quarter... c'mon FALCONS D!!!

92-78

I'm in the LEAD!

Larry Fitzgerald suddenly went off for me...

Let's GO, MARIO C!!!!

72-72!!!

Hines Ward just got in the HOUSE!!!

The bad news is, I need a lead going into these late games, because Jeff still has Adrian Peterson and DeAngelo Williams going in the afternoon, while all my studs will have mostly played. All I'll have are two defensive players, a kicker, a TE and Donald Driver on Monday night.

67-70

Garcia woke up a little bit...

Maybe turning on "Madagascar" for Evelyn was the key? If it was, we'll have an all-day catrtoon-fest for all I care!

C'mon, Garcia, let's get another TD! Your team -- and my team -- NEED you!

65-39

If we had played our 'optimal lineup' the score would be 70-53.

As I wrote that Wes Welker scored another point.

This hurts...

Looking bad early

Bottom line tells me that James Harrison -- one of my leading scorers -- may be out for the game with a hip injury. Nothing from Garcia yet, while Thigpen's already thrown one TD... Score is now 49-19, 'Rats.

A few minutes 'til kick-off!

LET'S GO MAR-I-O!!!

Things to remember:

1. It's just a game. Actually, it's less than a game... it's a fantasy game.
2. All I really wanted was to beat Neuteboom in the semi-finals and for Lervik to not win the championship. Both of those things happened last weekend.
3. If I don't win, it's not like I'd really be winning $400 anyway, because our league tradition is that the champ pays a big chunk of the bar tab at Rick's for the post-season party. And our league can DRINK.
4. No matter what I think, I have no real effect on the games. So put away all the "lucky" trinkets and put Horsey back in the trash.

Last thing before kick-off?

Mario C, 121. LeCompton Hoodrats, 118.

You heard it here first.

You've heard of the 'playoff beard'?

Well, since I'm incapable of gorwing a beard, I have the...

PLAYOFF 'FRO!!!

Honestly, our playoffs are only two weeks long, and I just happen to find myself overdue for a haircut. But I decided not to get my haircut until after the playoffs are complete. So I'm sporting a big fuzzy gray 'fro right now.

Let's hope the playoff 'fro can bring some good luck. All it's brought for me so far is a lot of hat-head and a crazy look from my dad.

The girls just got here

Back from church/Target. Evey's sleepin'.

I won't be able to watch any of the games that have significance to my team because of the games that are being televised, I don't have many players in those games. (That sentence really should be re-written, but I'm live-blogging, dammit.)

I'll watch the Chiefs though, and see how Thigpen does. Of course I'm rooting for the Chiefs, but I hope Thigpen has a modest day at QB, since I chose not to play him. It's just so cold/windy out that I think he'll have a tough game ahead of him.

Please don't throw for 3 TDs and 350+ yards, Thigpen...

(And if you do, can you please top that, Jeff Garcia?)

A little history

There's some history going on here with me playing Jeffy.

We were both in this league since year one, back when we were in college. Back then, Drew Roberts was the commissioner of the league. Since then, I've taken over the league as commish.

Having played each other in fantasy football for almost ten years now, there's been plenty of bad blood.

Just this season alone, I have many reasons to hate the 'Rats. Jeff's team has beaten me twice this season. Can he beat me three times in the same season?

There was one trade between these two teams this season. Jeff offered me Plaxico Burress for Wes Welker. I accepted the trade.

Since then, Welker has gone on to lead the league in receiving yards, while my guy? My guy shot himself in the *%$#ing leg.

Jeff has been the bridesmaid twice in this league, taking 2nd place in 2005 and 2006. I won the league once, but it was back in 2000 or 2001, during one of Marshall Faulk's big years. (Our league records don't go back that far.)



Included in this post is the face of the enemy. He's holding a newborn Evey Jones in this photo. As you can tell, he's talking trash to her. "Someday soon, I'm going to be beating your daddy in the fantasy football championship," he's telling her.

How can anyone root for a guy like that?

I just started the 'slow-clap'

in my living room.

There was no one around to get it going into full-on crazy clapping/shouting. But still, it felt good.

Jeff Garcia will start

Dan Dierdorf just announced that Jeff Garcia WILL START for the Tampa Bay Bucs.

I would like to announce that Jeff Garcia WILL START for Mario C.

RIP, "Horsey"

I just threw away Evey's pinata, which she called "Horsey." She loved that damn thing.

Bad karma? Probably.

Thing is, she started ripping it apart. We had papier-mache all over the place. (I really need some extra accents in this post... papier-mache and pinata appearing in the same post. What's next, resume? I'd like to buy an umlaut, Pat.)

I would have taken a photo of the Horsey, but every once in a while, Evey likes to scroll through the photos on the blog with us and tell us who's who. I need her to forget about Horsey, so having a photo of him on the blog would not be good.

(But, if it turns out my team needs some good luck late in the game... Horsey may come back from the dead and be sitting next to me during Monday Night Football...)

Keeping my mind off the game

By cleaning the house.

While I'm vacuuming, I start questioning my running back situation. Should I start Kevin Faulk? It'll be snowing in New England, they'll need to run the ball... Ugh. I already have a bad feeling because I benched one of my must-start backs, Chris Johnson, in favor of Lions RB Kevin Smith. Johnson goes up against Pittsburgh's D, which is just ruthless. Smith goes againt New Orleans, and they're desperate not to finish 0-17...

I HAVE to start Stephen Jackson at San Fran.

Smith or Faulk?

Fast fact that should make no impact on my decision: the last time I won a league, it was behind St. Louis stud Marshall Faulk.



Maybe I need a Faulk in my line-up to win?

SHUT UP, SETH, SHUT UP!!!!!

fantasy football championship

I'm driving myself crazy. I'm in the fantasy football championship this weekend, and I'm obsessing over it this morning.

There are some stakes here... loser gets $100, while winner gets $400. So yeah, I'd like the $400. But Jeff (Heiman) has already played Peyton Manning against me, who went for 30 points on Thursday. Meanwhile, my QB all season, Kurt Warner, finds himself in a no-stakes game in Boston where it's just dumping snow. My other choice? Thigpen in KC. Normally I'd play him, but... I've got bad feelings about that game.

I picked up Jeff Garcia off the waiver wire. Right now, I'm starting him. He's playing at home (in Tampa Bay) against San Diego, who has a horrible pass D.

But, like I really have any control over this crap anyway.

That's why I'm blogging right now. I've decided to share some of my psychosis. As Evey will allow, I'm going to "live-blog" the matchup between the LeCompton Hoodrats (Jeff's team) against Mario Chalmers (my team). As of this writing at 10 a.m., I'm trailing 38-13. Jeff had Manning play on Thursday and Bradie James last night. I had Maurice Jones-Drew play on Thursday.

Mere moments ago, I was feeling defeated, like I had no chance. But on 96.5 FM's "Resurrection Sunday" program, they just played R.E.M.'s "Superman." And now I feel like I can do this... like that was a sign, my team will overcome adversity!



Let's go Mario C!

Thanks, Axl. P.S. YOU STINK!!!

Well, the results are in. Guns n' Roses vs. AC/DC.

AC/DC. In a LANDSLIDE.

What can I say? I thought people would be curious about this G'n'R record. I was wrong. So were a majority of the voters on this site! Hell, 10 people said G'n'R would outsell AC/DC to the 4 who voted for AC/DC to come out on top.

The numbers? Well, that graphic tells it all on the top 40 albums list. "Chinese Democracy" sold an anemic 261,191 copies in its first week. Taylor Swift (whoever that is) sold more copies of his or her album "Fearless" in its THIRD WEEK than Chinese Democracy sold in its opening week.



Specifically to the bet... AC/DC sold THREE TIMES MORE copies of "Black Ice" (800,000+) than "Chinese Democracy" (260,000).

OUCH!

The cool thing about this? People voting with their dollar. People are sick of Axl Rose and his antics? Then don't buy his album. And they didn't. Happy with AC/DC and how they've stayed true to their sound and their fans? Then buy their album. And people did.

(I'm not going to make any argument about people illegally downloading these albums, or listening to it for free on MySpace, or anything. Money talks, bullshit walks.)

So, what did Adrianne win, and what did I lose? Well, I lost some dignity (I like to pretend I'm some music maven, but apparently I don't know jack) and Adrianne wins the luxury of me dumping the smelliest, grossest trashcan in the house -- the upstairs bathroom trash -- for a full month. So whenever she sees it getting past half-full, she can play the "Black Ice" card and my "Chinese Democracy" stupid ass will be hauling that can out to the trash. In the snow. At night time.

Thanks, Axl.

Adrianne would like to thank the three people who supported her and voted in favor of AC/DC. In fact, she asked that I name them on the blog and recognize them for their courage, their wisdom, their savvy.

But the truth is, the voting is anonymous. I know not who voted for AC/DC and who voted for G'n'R. (Well, I do know that Travis voted for AC/DC, while I know Marlan voted for G'n'R. Adding even more fuel to their rivalry. Congrats, Trav!)

This debate -- which has been lively and fun -- reminds me of http://www.fantasymoguls.com/. It's like fantasy football, but instead of buying football players, you buy movies, and the box office receipts are what decides the winners and losers. It's very simple, yet very fun. If you'd like to join our league (which both Trav and Mar are members of), email me and I'll get you involved.

And so ends the AC/DC vs. G'n'R debate. Now, if you'll excuse me... I have to take out the trash.



To those about to rock... WE SALUTE YOU.

"Moment, moment"

OK, so I teased this last week, I'm sure it won't live up to the hype. I'll try anyway.

Evey's picking up words at a fast rate, as you can imagine. Sometimes the words are imperfect, so we have to ask ourselves, "What word is she trying to say?"

About two weeks ago Evey looked at me and Adro and said, "Moment!" We were like, "Uhm, OK... what do you need a moment for? Are we bothering you? Who taught you this word?" It didn't sound like something she'd have picked up at Elvira's. "One moment!" That's not their style.

Then she started saying, "moment, moment!" We're still baffled.

Finally, Evey was asleep in bed with Adrianne when she pops up, still half-asleep, dreaming. "I like to moment-moment," Evey sang. Then she laid back down, falling asleep.

Adro hadn't watched Madagascar yet, but she knew enough about the movie to know there was a song in the movie that Evey liked. Adro asked me what the song was. "I like to move it," I sang to her (I really dig Madagascar, I'm a sucker for buddy movies though).

Evey was standing right there. "I like to moment-moment," she sang back. We both started cracking up. Evey was asking to watch Madagascar again. It took us about two weeks, but we finally solved the riddle of "what is moment?"

If all of this is foreign to you, check out the YouTube video. Then, imagine my daughter jumping around shouting, "Moment! Moment!" with the video. It's good fun.

It's COLD

Answers to questions tomorrow... like, Chinese Democracy and "moment, moment!"

Baby Boom (Isabella) is here!

Congratulations to the Neutebooms, who welcomed beautiful little Isabella Jeanette to the world Sunday morning shortly after 6 a.m.! Isabella was 5 pounds and 15 ounces and breathtakingly cute. Baby, mom and dad are all doing great.

Me and Adro got to go visit the 'Booms only 12 hours after the birth of Isabella. Both new parents were beaming -- exhausted, yes -- but beaming nonetheless.

Evey can't wait to meet her new little friend, but she's going to have to wait a few more days until she's over her cough. But she can't wait!

Where's Jonesy?

Two days, no posts, what gives?

Too busy changing sheets after every time Evey vomits.

Yeah, she's sick. We're headed to the doctor at 1:30 to see what we can do.

Hasn't been very fun at the Joneses lately. Not much sleep, either. I'll catch up with the blog when Evey permits...

SJ

Some more birthday pics

Pictured: Jeff and the always dapper Greyson; Amelia and Evey with the pinata; Evey and Sadie cooking up something good with the new play kitchen.

I've got lots more b-day photos, I'll be posting them for a few more days...

Evey's been a little sick these last couple of days, she's been throwing up at night. Hopefully we can get some sleep tonight. At least she was healthy over the birthday weekend, you might remember she was in the emergency room for her birthday last year.

OK, see the pinata in the middle photo? Evelyn calls it her "horse" and rides it. In no way has this thing been beaten with a stick, like a good pinata should. No, it's treated like a pet. It's probably just a matter of days before I have the damn thing in bed with us.

The funny thing is, Evey won the pinata at church on Saturday. Grandma Judy took her to the Our Lady of Guadalupe celebration, and Great-Grandma Virginia bought some raffle tickets for Evey. What did Evey win? A BIRTHDAY PACKAGE. Talk about kismet. The B-day package came with the pinata, some birthday paper plates/napkins, etc., and even an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen.

TOO BAD WE HAD ALREADY BOUGHT ALL OF THOSE ITEMS!

Oh well, it was pretty funny that she won the birthday package on her birthday weekend. That's my girl.

Tomorrow, I have a funny story about Evelyn's new word, and what it actually means. The word? "Moment! Moment!"

Happy 2nd birthday Evey!!!

We celebrated Evey's birthday this weekend. She had a lot of friends and family over and she got a TON of gifts... I don't know what we're going to do for Christmas now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVELYN MELOSA JONES!!! YOU'RE TWO!!!

Thanksgiving with the Joneses

Here's a shot from the dinner my mom put on for us... this is moments after KU beat Mizzou, so you may see some larger smiles than usual.

Also notice the giant bite of mashed potatoes that Evey was taking at that exact moment. And the careful eye will notice Darth Vader right next to Evey...

Care Bear

Evey's new favorite friend -- Care Bear.

She doesn't like the cartoon, but she does love her new friend. She asks for him all the time. He starts off in bed with her, by the end of the night he's face-down in the corner.

Sort of like me and Adrianne.

First birthday present

Evey got her first birthday present yesterday... a new play kitchen from Grandma Judy!