***
Mr. Whipple came into our lives as a cheap laugh for baby Evey... as she got older, the laughs got more expensive... and then Boyd came! Putting the laugh back at CHEAP.
Mr. Whipple would pop into our lives randomly and without much warning. He would typically ring the doorbell (or knock on the door) and then try to give everyone (especially Mom) a kiss. Everyone tried to deny this kiss, but eventually they would succumb to Mr. Whipple's good looks and boyish charm.
He had a high-pitched voice, unusual for a man of his size. Maybe the white foam beard had some type of effect? He would usually introduce himself with a "HELL-O! I'm MR. WHIPPLE!!! GIVE ME A SMOOCHIE!!!"
***
For years this stranger would invade our home and request a kiss (smoochie.) I would always grow infuriated after the fact — where was this jacka$$ and where was I when this all went down?!? Strangely, we never were in the same place at the same time.
Turns out the kids would fight like crazy to avoid Mr. Whipple, but Mom would eventually relent and give this random man a "smoochie." Which would fuel my fire. At least the kids fought off this strange man!
I consistently wanted to fight Mr. Whipple, but he had always just left when I arrived on the scene (and with a fresh shave!)
***
Well, Boyd is now old enough... Evey is beyond old enough... Mr. Whipple had to come clean (but not Mr. Clean.)
I exposed the true identity of Mr. Whipple... it was me, all along! Only with a shaving cream beard.
The kids tried to pretend like they knew. So did Adrianne. But me and Mr. Whipple knew the truth!
Now, somebody... give me a smoochie!
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